I've been struggling lately with listening to that little voice in my head that says to be different. When you join something as organized and conformist as the military you grow accustomed to falling in line, and doing anything you can to not be spotted as different. When you are looked at as different you have one of two options for how you will be perceived by others, as a leader or as a weakling. Neither is something anyone strives to become and neither is necessarily bad.
I think it is almost harder to become a weakling than a leader in comparison to a lot of the things I see and hear from my fellow enlisted. If I decide to wake up early or immediately after work and go to the gym it's looked at as odd, or too 'moto'. This goes just the same for school, many marines have asked me why I would go to school when you've got a GI Bill when your done? Because I'm bored, that's why. I tend to think of these as traits that all Marines should try to emulate, but the productivity begins and ends when the time card is punched. So I guess the key to being a leader is to be very secretive in your attempt to surpass the masses. If your ascent is noticed then there is a problem with it, because it is different.
This is where my dilemma lies, I have never been one to stand in line quietly. I have always spoken my mind, fought for what I believed in, asked questions, and never considered how others viewed me as important. In a military environment that takes a huge toll on your credibility, if you are different it is impossible to predict how you will act in scenarios, and therefore makes you a hassle to deal with. I have for quite some time now stood in line patiently, not speaking because I had nothing of importance to say. However, I am tired of the monotony of the days.
I am a man of impulse, and if I act on these impulses I will move like water objective to objective until I come along a new path. Life is about maturing the spirit, growing more well-rounded as a being. I feel like I have drifted from this path and become more preoccupied with the interests of others. I am going to take this for what it is worth, I will do my job and do my job well while at the same becoming a man that knows who he is, and not who he is told to be.
To be honest, it's not just Marines (enlisted or otherwise) who view the gym after work as "too moto" or going to school in your spare time as odd. Most people are this way. It is sad and at the same time only shows that most people simply lack either the motivation or the drive to live outside what they have to do. I like what I see here, go with it. You'll have a better life and it'll be all the more fun :D
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